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CAN WE GO BACK TO DECEMBER
- Monthly Issue Contributor
- Apr 28
- 3 min read
By: Chloe Evans
April 2025 ISSUE
FICTION PROSE
Editor: Christian Pan
I’m so glad you made time to see me.
I know it’s been a while, and the heat from the summer sun made it hard to be outside today. However, after getting your message this morning about wanting to meet me, I didn’t have a choice. It was going to be the first time I’ve seen you since winter. You said you had some things you needed back from me as well as some to return. I was excited at the thought of seeing you once more, and I couldn’t help but agree.
I hate to admit that, it wasn’t until I saw you getting out of your car and going to the trunk that this felt real. I had convinced myself that if I ever saw you again, I’d never let you leave. Yet, when I saw you start to walk towards me with a box full of junk I had left at your place, everything started to sink in. This was it. This was the last time I would see you again. I forced a smile to my face as I got a flashback to us under the mistletoe. It had been snowing hard, and we decided to stay in. You had such a warm smile on your face when you told me you loved me.
Maybe this was wishful thinking, but I had hoped you would’ve been happy to see me too. I felt my heart slowly cracking as you stared at me without any emotion while talking about something I couldn’t understand. As my eyes drifted over your body, however, I did notice something different about you. You had lost weight and looked to be more in shape. Your arms were more toned, and I could see that every stitch of clothing you wore was new. They fit you well, and made you look more put together than what you had worn with me. You also looked well rested and the dark bags under your eyes had lightened. The beard you were growing aged you well, and I couldn’t help but find myself more attracted to you. All this, combined with hearing your voice for the first time in six months made me want to go back to that freezing night. The one where we cuddled and watched scary movies late into the star filled night.
I wish I could swallow my pride and apologize, but no matter how much I tried, my voice always failed me.I know you have found someone new, and by what i can tell from the one i see in front of me…she treated you better. It was finally starting to sink in that you had found someone better than me. Someone who treated you as an equal, rather than always taking advantage of your kindness, like I did.
Wanna know what hurts the most right now? Thinking about her, whoever she is, waiting for you at home. She’s going to see that irresistible smile of yours that you now refuse to share with me. At least when it was Decemeber, you were mine. On those cold nights, you whispered how much you loved me. The soft kisses, the small turn of your lips when our eyes met, the promises we made of a future we were going to build together. Those moments were some of the next in my entire life. Were they the same for you? Do you ever think about those times, like I do?
Yes, I know you need to go, but before you do, I need to ask you: can we go back to December?
CHLOE EVANS
For more information:
House of Grief
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